Snacks- Pepperidge Farm Milano Melts

I'm going to tell you right now that I immediately began salivating when I laid my eyes upon these glorious-looking cookies.  I mean, I know the chocolate is never really as creamy or the cookie as flawlessly textured as they are in the picture on the bag.  But sometimes in the throes of confectionary passion I forget just for a moment about the magic of advertising and believe that what I'm looking at really may be the door to an alternate dimension, containing only the most supernaturally delicious of foods for my enjoyment. 

Before you call mental health services to come take me away let me assure you that this is only a momentary imagining...but that moment was more than enough time for me to decide I needed these cookies. 

There are two other varieties of these, one with a chocolate cookie and one with regular chocolate creme as opposed to the classic dark chocolate.  I chose the one I assumed would taste just like the regular Milano so I'd be able to do a better comparison, although I will be giving the double chocolate ones a try in the future for sure.

They pretty much look and taste like a regular Milano; the cookie is the same texture which has always been a bit too for my taste.  There is definitely more chocolate presence and flavor in these. The fact that there's enough chocolate to be able to let it coat the front of my tongue and taste the bittersweet deliciousness is a huge plus for these cookies.  I was imagining that the creme wouldn't actually be bursting from the cookie when I broke it apart like it is on the front of the package, but as you can see minus the photoshopping used on the packaging the real thing looks remarkably similar. 

My only real complaint about these cookies involves my own very personal taste, but I'll throw it out there anyway.  While I'm crazy about the abundance of chocolate in melts, I found that I still longed for the slight crispiness you get from the hardened chocolate in the original Milano.  It's almost undetectable, but when I bite into a good old sandwich-style Milano, right before I start grumbling about the crumbling, I savor that satisfying little snap as the layer of chocolate breaks.  It's the chocolate the supports the feeble cookie, whereas the melts give more power to the cookie by forming it into a shelter for softer, more vulnerable chocolate. 

Overall I'm surprised to say that though these are delicious, I'm not positive whether I'd pick them over regular Milano's.  I guess it'll depend on which one I feel like seeing in charge. 

5 stars. 

Desserts- Ben & Jerry's Late Night Snack

Let me begin with one rather unprofessional thing that will sum up my feelings about this ice cream:
NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

Ok, now that that's out of my system, I will proceed with my review in actual English. 

When I first read the contents of this glorious little pint {Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with a Salty Caramel Swirl & Fudge Covered Potato Chip Clusters}

 I definitely felt a smidgen of doubt, but that was quickly smothered by my contention that if Ben & Jerrys puts things together, they are safe to go together.  The carton boasts that the flavor was inspired by Jimmy Fallon, which gave it absolutely no extra appeal as I find him to be annoying and generally un-funny.  But anyway... I really put my trust in the good old B&J on this one, and I was not disappointed.  I tend to go by the rule that the strangest sounding combinations of flavors are often the best (although outside the world of sweets I practice this rule much more conservatively) and this ice cream is a shining example of why I employ such ideology. 

The vanilla bean ice cream itself was fabulously smooth and creamy, and the salty caramel was indeed salty.  Not too salty, however, to get in the way of the more obvious source of salt: the potato chip.  The chip clusters are coated in semi-sweet chocolate and when the salt first hit my tongue they carried an almost chocolate-covered-pretzel type of flavor.  But as the cool vanilla and caramel mixture liquified in my mouth and began to drain down my throat, the flavor of the potato chips really starts to kick in.  Just as I was about to swallow it all I was blasted briefly with this perfect potato chip essence on my pallete that sang sweet harmony with the last bit of creamy vanilla on my tongue...perfection.  Very similar to Ben & Jerry's other late-night-inspired flavor Americone Dream, but the saltiness from the chips and the slightly salted caramel give it a more unique flavor that you won't find on the Haagen Daazs side of the freezer.

5 stars...there was literally not one thing I disliked about this ice cream, and I will definitely be buying it again.

Desserts- Breyers Blasts!- Chips Ahoy

  So Breyer's has launched this new line of ice cream flavors called Blasts!. (exclamation mark included to assert its excitingness)  we've seen several of these super-chunk types of ice creams before, so despite the exclamation point I wasn't expecting to find anything too crazy.  The amount of flavors was a bit dizzying, I'll give them that much at least.  Each features a different candy or cookie, and although I was intrigues by the Whoppers, Mrs. Fields, waffle cone and Heath bar flavors, I decided to go with the Chips Ahoy.  The reason for this was actually that I found it to be the most precarious-sounding ice cream situation.  The carton indicated that it contained whole mini-Chips Ahoy cookies as opposed to your usual globs of cookie dough, and I was concerned about what the texture of the cookies would be.  If they were wet and mooshy the whole thing would be a dud, but if they were still crunchy and flavorful (which I felt was pretty unlikely) there was no way it could fail. 
     I'm happy to say these were on sale 2 for 1 when I discovered them, because even at their regular price of $5.99 I would have bought it for the sake of testing.  Unfortunately when I went back for a second flavor to test the sale was already over.  But I digress...
     The first thing I did when I began my test was taste the actual ice cream itself.  The carton refers to it as a "Cookie-Flavored Dairy Dessert", dairy dessert being a term used for ice cream varieties made primarily from milk instead of cream.   I've had some "dairy desserts" which could definitely have been mistaken for ice cream, and sometimes the difference is negligible.  But I'm sorry to say Breyer's let me down a little on this one.  While it did live up to its claim of being cookie-flavored, I found it to be kind of flat...sort of like it was missing a certain dimension of sweetness.  I guess the best way to describe it would be that the ice cream itself had a sort of diet-type of taste to it...or lack of taste, I should say. I guess it's better that this ice cream is primarily milk since it is filled with "chocolatey chunks", a sugary fudge swirl and calorie-laden cookies, but I think the addition of real cream would have made all the difference in the flavor.
     Moving past the slightly disappointing cookie-flavored ice cream, I'm happy to say that the cookies themselves were surprisingly firm and even a little crunchy!  I was having trouble imagining entire cookies surviving in such an atmosphere, but Breyer's pulled it off very nicely leaving the cookies with a dipped-in-milk sort of texture... nothing like the dreaded completely-saturated-with-milk situation I'd imagined as my worst-case scenario. 
   What I liked most about this ice cream is that the chocolate chips, oh wait I'm sorry, the chocolatey chunks, taste just like the actuall Chips Ahoy chocolate chips.  Between that and the fudge swirl there was a lot of chocolate going on in this ice cream, but somehow it still came nowhere near to being too much.  In fact, I could have stood even a few more chocolate chunks and fudge swirl to balance out the slightly funky ice cream.  The proportion of cookies was just right...you don't get one in every single bite, but thankfully there was not a single bite in which plain ice cream existed without anything else in it. 
    I'm not positive I would buy this again, although if it were half price again I would certainly consider it.  Definitely worth the money at half price, and a fun flavor when you want something a little out of the ordinary.  Four stars, would be five but the flavor of the ice cream really threw me off at the beginning.

Snacks- Quaker Chewy Chocolate Swirl granola bars

I promise I'll stop with the granola entries after this.  Most of them don't count as junk food, but as far as "healthy" snacks go they're pretty junk-y  But anyway, they looked fantastically delicious so I grabbed a box.  Although my realistic expectations were kind of on the low side (which I will explain in a bit) I have to say I was disappointed with these.  Here's why.

Let me start by explaining my qualm with things that are made with "real cocoa."  With the exception of Cocoa Krispies and Cocoa Puffs, I don't believe I've ever tasted a satisfyingly chocolatey wheat or oat snack.  Quaker's caramel mini rice cakes have always been a favorite of mine, but I've always found the chocolate flavor to be lacking something.  This was probably the most direct source of my immediate skepticism, but I can never forget the disappointment of the double chocolate Fullbar, and the "chocolate" Chex present in various varieties of Chex Mix are always the pieces I avoid.  So despite how delicious these granola bars looked on the box, I knew going in I was taking a risk.  I tried not to let this get in the way of my analysis...I was hoping to perhaps be pleasantly surprised.   ....No such luck.

First off,  I detected not a hint of cocoa in the smell of the product.  As I predicted, the deceptively chocolate-colored granola carries no particular chocolate flavor at all, and is barely even distinguishable from Quaker's regular granola.  The only thing that saves these bars in terms of chocolate flavor is the chocolate-and-white-chocolate swirled chocolate chips that are embedded within the mediocre granola.  I find it kind of silly that they named these bars Chocolate Swirl, when the only thing that's "swirled" is the tiny chocolate chips...although considering those chips are the saving grace of this otherwise mediocre snack I guess naming the product after them wasn't the worst way to go. 

I guess I should just stick to bona-fide junk food, because this wannabe chocolate thing is really bringing me down.  I try to incorporate as many healthier alternatives into my diet as possible, but as far as this blog goes I think I'll lay off of the fake shit and reserve my reviews for things that are actually coated in chocolate, not drizzled in sticky brown stuff that's infused with an almost undetectable amount of cocoa. 

All in all I would much rather just eat a s'mores flavored Chewy, or even regular chocolate chip...I'm positive the chocolate chip flavor has more actual chocolate chips than this one.  Quaker seems to think that they can get away with fewer chocolate chips because the bar is coated in chocolate, but GUESS WHAT, QUAKER OATS GUY?  That chocolate coating has almost zero flavor, thus making the shortage of chocolate chips all the more devasating.  If this bar were to be reversed and composed primarily of these swirled chocolate chips with little pieces of granola here and there, I'd be a lot more thrilled with it.  But I guess that goes without saying.

Desserts- Turkey Hill Coconut Cream Pie Ice Cream

     As a coconut fanatic I had high hopes for this ice cream, and as usual Turkey Hill delivers a smooth, well proportioned ice cream.  There isn't too much or too little of anything, but despite the satisfactory balance of ingredients I wasn't as thrilled with this flavor as I'd hoped to be.
     Maybe it's partly because they put such delicious looking slices of coconut cream pie on the carton, or maybe I'm just spoiled by having had "cream pie" flavored concoctions at Cold Stone several times...I'm not sure exactly who to blame here, all I know is I was disappointed with this ice cream.  It had all the elements of a coconut cream pie, I suppose, but I was simply not convinced that I was eating a true pie-flavored ice cream. 
                          ~There was coconut, and a delightfully perfect amount, at that...just enough tiny flecks in each bite to give texture to the rich ice cream.
                         ~There was technically cream, so I guess they had that part right by default.  Not sure if that counts.
                         ~There were what Turkey Hill refers to as "coconut cream pie pieces", which are little more than pieces of dough which taste more like Play Doh than pie crust. 

     These false pie pieces are where the real problem lies for me with this ice cream.  If you're making a flavor that's meant to replicate the flavor of pie, the crust is a pivotal aspect of that flavor!  Pie is not only about the filling; in fact more people would probably argue that it's the crust which defines the pie.  The crust has to be on point, or it's not a convincing flavor.  End of story.  3/5 stars....I ended up picking out most of the "pie pieces", but extra credit for the coconut flecks.

Snacks- Nature Valley Granola Thins (Dark Chocolate)



     I'm glad to be able to make my first review a positive one!  Simply put, I love these things.  Want more detail?  You got it.

     Let me start by getting one little negative comment out of the way...these things aren't that big.  They're definitely not something to start eating if you're starving and you have the whole box in front of you, because you'll probably eat at least two if not more. But this is in part because they're deliciously addictive!  The  fusion of the granola and chocolate flavors is just flawless.

     When I first bit into a NV Granola Thin I was a bit doubtful for a moment as my mouth began to process the immediate flavor and texture.  At first all I tasted was granola; it took a second or two before the taste of the dark chocolate really kicked in.  Although this sounds like a negative comment, I have to stress that it was not a negative experience.  This was mostly thanks to the texture of the chocolate coating.  I immediately noticed that the dark chocolate provides a much-needed richness and moisture to the NV granola, something I normally find to be overly dry and, well, boring. 

     Although small and not very filling, I definitely give these squares two thumbs up.  At 80 calories each (35 from fat) and 4 grams of fat per unit, they're not something you want to gorge on if you're watching your weight. One of these babies has the same sugar content as two Chips Ahoy (6 grams) and 5 mg additional sodium, and a higher protein content makes two regular chocolate chip Chips Ahoy!'s a better choice in most categories excluding calories (2 cookies has approx. 106 calories).  So if you were doubting me on whether this item belongs in my confections blog, now you know the deal.  These things are deceptively pacakged.    But if you want a delicious snack you can feel better about (even though you really shouldn't) definitely pick these up, although at almost $4 a box I suggest waiting until they're on sale.  4 stars.