Snacks- Quaker Chewy Chocolate Swirl granola bars

I promise I'll stop with the granola entries after this.  Most of them don't count as junk food, but as far as "healthy" snacks go they're pretty junk-y  But anyway, they looked fantastically delicious so I grabbed a box.  Although my realistic expectations were kind of on the low side (which I will explain in a bit) I have to say I was disappointed with these.  Here's why.

Let me start by explaining my qualm with things that are made with "real cocoa."  With the exception of Cocoa Krispies and Cocoa Puffs, I don't believe I've ever tasted a satisfyingly chocolatey wheat or oat snack.  Quaker's caramel mini rice cakes have always been a favorite of mine, but I've always found the chocolate flavor to be lacking something.  This was probably the most direct source of my immediate skepticism, but I can never forget the disappointment of the double chocolate Fullbar, and the "chocolate" Chex present in various varieties of Chex Mix are always the pieces I avoid.  So despite how delicious these granola bars looked on the box, I knew going in I was taking a risk.  I tried not to let this get in the way of my analysis...I was hoping to perhaps be pleasantly surprised.   ....No such luck.

First off,  I detected not a hint of cocoa in the smell of the product.  As I predicted, the deceptively chocolate-colored granola carries no particular chocolate flavor at all, and is barely even distinguishable from Quaker's regular granola.  The only thing that saves these bars in terms of chocolate flavor is the chocolate-and-white-chocolate swirled chocolate chips that are embedded within the mediocre granola.  I find it kind of silly that they named these bars Chocolate Swirl, when the only thing that's "swirled" is the tiny chocolate chips...although considering those chips are the saving grace of this otherwise mediocre snack I guess naming the product after them wasn't the worst way to go. 

I guess I should just stick to bona-fide junk food, because this wannabe chocolate thing is really bringing me down.  I try to incorporate as many healthier alternatives into my diet as possible, but as far as this blog goes I think I'll lay off of the fake shit and reserve my reviews for things that are actually coated in chocolate, not drizzled in sticky brown stuff that's infused with an almost undetectable amount of cocoa. 

All in all I would much rather just eat a s'mores flavored Chewy, or even regular chocolate chip...I'm positive the chocolate chip flavor has more actual chocolate chips than this one.  Quaker seems to think that they can get away with fewer chocolate chips because the bar is coated in chocolate, but GUESS WHAT, QUAKER OATS GUY?  That chocolate coating has almost zero flavor, thus making the shortage of chocolate chips all the more devasating.  If this bar were to be reversed and composed primarily of these swirled chocolate chips with little pieces of granola here and there, I'd be a lot more thrilled with it.  But I guess that goes without saying.

Desserts- Turkey Hill Coconut Cream Pie Ice Cream

     As a coconut fanatic I had high hopes for this ice cream, and as usual Turkey Hill delivers a smooth, well proportioned ice cream.  There isn't too much or too little of anything, but despite the satisfactory balance of ingredients I wasn't as thrilled with this flavor as I'd hoped to be.
     Maybe it's partly because they put such delicious looking slices of coconut cream pie on the carton, or maybe I'm just spoiled by having had "cream pie" flavored concoctions at Cold Stone several times...I'm not sure exactly who to blame here, all I know is I was disappointed with this ice cream.  It had all the elements of a coconut cream pie, I suppose, but I was simply not convinced that I was eating a true pie-flavored ice cream. 
                          ~There was coconut, and a delightfully perfect amount, at that...just enough tiny flecks in each bite to give texture to the rich ice cream.
                         ~There was technically cream, so I guess they had that part right by default.  Not sure if that counts.
                         ~There were what Turkey Hill refers to as "coconut cream pie pieces", which are little more than pieces of dough which taste more like Play Doh than pie crust. 

     These false pie pieces are where the real problem lies for me with this ice cream.  If you're making a flavor that's meant to replicate the flavor of pie, the crust is a pivotal aspect of that flavor!  Pie is not only about the filling; in fact more people would probably argue that it's the crust which defines the pie.  The crust has to be on point, or it's not a convincing flavor.  End of story.  3/5 stars....I ended up picking out most of the "pie pieces", but extra credit for the coconut flecks.

Snacks- Nature Valley Granola Thins (Dark Chocolate)



     I'm glad to be able to make my first review a positive one!  Simply put, I love these things.  Want more detail?  You got it.

     Let me start by getting one little negative comment out of the way...these things aren't that big.  They're definitely not something to start eating if you're starving and you have the whole box in front of you, because you'll probably eat at least two if not more. But this is in part because they're deliciously addictive!  The  fusion of the granola and chocolate flavors is just flawless.

     When I first bit into a NV Granola Thin I was a bit doubtful for a moment as my mouth began to process the immediate flavor and texture.  At first all I tasted was granola; it took a second or two before the taste of the dark chocolate really kicked in.  Although this sounds like a negative comment, I have to stress that it was not a negative experience.  This was mostly thanks to the texture of the chocolate coating.  I immediately noticed that the dark chocolate provides a much-needed richness and moisture to the NV granola, something I normally find to be overly dry and, well, boring. 

     Although small and not very filling, I definitely give these squares two thumbs up.  At 80 calories each (35 from fat) and 4 grams of fat per unit, they're not something you want to gorge on if you're watching your weight. One of these babies has the same sugar content as two Chips Ahoy (6 grams) and 5 mg additional sodium, and a higher protein content makes two regular chocolate chip Chips Ahoy!'s a better choice in most categories excluding calories (2 cookies has approx. 106 calories).  So if you were doubting me on whether this item belongs in my confections blog, now you know the deal.  These things are deceptively pacakged.    But if you want a delicious snack you can feel better about (even though you really shouldn't) definitely pick these up, although at almost $4 a box I suggest waiting until they're on sale.  4 stars.